Enjoying every moment of this process

With my wedding day approaching at staggering speed, I am starting to feel nervous and a little bit of mixed emotions.. Six more days and I will be a Mrs. It only seem like yesterday my count at 100 but today it's only 6 more days until Friday, 6th of April - our Akad Nikah day.  I am excited to be marrying my best friend, the one whom I share my ups and downs with, the one who I can speak to, the one who understands me, respects me, shares the same vision as me and always standing strong by me.. Yup, he is the chosen one. wah wah wah.. *ayat mengada* :P I love u bb.

Everyone has been so amazing with the wedding preparation. Running here and there doing all the necessary arrangements. Thanks to our beloved family, friends, photographers, cinematographers, designers, etc. Alhamdulillah, all the wedding things are taken care of, its the being married part that worries me.

Most of the things about my wedding in Penang is DIY. I designed my own invitation card, door gifts, props for the dessert table & photo booth and whatnot. For other things such as hantaran, wedding cake, pelamin etc .. I have all the necessary people to help me with it. It's always nice to have people being so caring and helpful especially at such busy times like this. I am so thankful and blessed for everyone being so helpful especially my deary fiance who is always beside me - helping me all the way from shopping for craft materials, searching for designers, going for trial make up, meeting up with photographers and last but not least, accompanying me to all my gown fittings. I know you had so much fun and you actually liked it kan? hehe Thank you b.

I like to have a happy occasion but as bad as I want it my way, I want everyone to be happy as well. InsyaAllah everything will go on smoothly.

These are some of the photos I took from my phone while preparing for the wedding. Too lazy to upload the ones in my camera. Enjoy this for now. Will upload more soon.

My to do list while counting down the days

His first appointment for baju melayu

Color chart

My baby patiently waiting for me

Before trial makeup session at Anovia

Trying different hairstyle

Done.

Getting all dolled up. Oh so fun!

Sparkman Shop, PJ Hilton

His first appointment for his Tuxedo

Food Tasting at Sunway Resort Hotel & Spa.

Chinese banquet menu for our reception

Searching materials for our flowergirls.

Custom-made cheongsam from White & Lacy Bridal

Trying on sampin & tengkolok to suit with the baju.

Songkok design from different states

Nurita Harith Boutique

Second fitting at Nurita Harith. oh me fell in love.

First tuxedo fitting. 

Second fitting so cute.

Working on the photo booth props

Browsing around for our hantaran stuff.

All jolly after shopping

The happy priceless look on his face

Wedding wishes from Gucci Pavilion Team

The little one tying her best to help

Final touches on the door gifts.

Crabtree & Evelyn to replace my bunga pahar during the merenjis session

Second Fitting at CasaMia

Countdown Tracker Says..

Clock is ticking, time is running out! Pray for eveything to go well as planned. Happy happy days ahead of us.

Time is running out.

Hello to all,

Sorry for the not updating for quite sometime although I promised myself to squeeze some time to keep this blog running. I've been busy with errands and whatnot. My family and close friends would know how busy I am running here and there juggling with so many things at the same time. I know I'm a super woman not that I am one but I feel like one. Ok, enough with all the nonsense..

Clock is ticking fast and I don't know where to start. I need a time machine.

Bridezilla Moment!

The definition of Bridezilla for Feesha = a regular bride who is overly concerned about the details of her big day. (Not that I'm one)

I am a very detailed and orientated person so I am always concern when it comes to little details here and there. Be it from planning, the dress, the fabric & colors of my family and bridesmaids suits, decorations, what type of card to use for the invites, the details of centrepiece, color coordination, the dulangs for hantaran, the door gifts, and last but not least, the candle deco. It's crazy when I think about how crazy and obsessed I can be - wanting to control every single thing. The need to be perfect makes me a difficult person to deal with. I don't mind spending my time doing all the work alone coz when I do it myself, I know how it will turn out to be, not that I'm picky or snobbish. Yup, I know it's sick but I can't help myself. I get sick and unwell sometimes after working my ass off doing the unnecessary things. But you see, at the end of the day, it makes me happy. That alone can make up to everything else. 

I went bridezilla a couple of times after people around me are getting on my nerves. When I say it, I really mean it. There are so many details and as usual, some people just love to mess around with you and make it difficult. I am not a mean person so usually I will just let go of all the unwanted dramas but there are a few issues that I could not ignore and let it pass because it really bothers me. Not gonna mention the issues here. Oh well, let's just say all is good now.

Lately myself and Andrew have been working on my door gifts and I'm more than happy that its almost done. Just the packing and arranging left to do. Alhamdulillah I am so happy with the way it turned out to be. Colorful and jolly. Hehe Now I can't wait to start a new project. Time is priceless. xoxo

My Bucket List

I have this list of things to do / to try before I die since forever and I never actually bothered about looking at them or even tick it off. I do carry my small happiness notebook all the time in my handbag but not the bucket list. I should act on it too. Do you know why it's good to create your own bucket list? It's good because If you don’t live your days by personal goals and plans, chances are you spend most of your time caught up in a flurry of a day-to-day activities. Do you stop and ponder your everyday life? The days passing so fast and what have you achieved for your personal satisfaction besides the daily routine of work-home-sleep? What have you got for yourself apart from the normal routine? Lets say, ermm your upcoming goals for the next 3 months? Look at the things you did and the things you’re planning to do next – Do they mean anything to you if you are to die today? Having a bucket list reminds you of what’s really important so you can act on them. It’s just like planning ahead all the highlights you want for YOUR whole life. Even though goal setting is already my staple activity, I still found many new things to do while I was writing on my bucket list. It’s a reminder of all the things we want to achieve in our time here, so that instead of pandering our time in pointless activities, we are directing it fully toward what matters to us.

1. Complete a scrapbook.

2. Attend a baking class.

3. Enter a competition. - done.

4. Learn to speak foreign language & make sure I use it.

5. Declutter my room.

6. Watch a sunrise & sunset.

7. Organize a family day. - done.

8. Ride a superbike with style.

9. Volunteer in a charity drive. - done.

10. Bungee Jump (don't think I have the guts)

11. Go backpacking. - sort off done.

12. Throw a mega party and invite everyone over.

13. Have a portrait painted.

14. Skydiving (don't dare & don't think I'll do it)

15. Swim with the dolphins (scared of deep sea)

16. Spend the whole day eating junk food without feeling guilty. - done.

17. Own a room with a view.

18. Learn to take a compliment.

19. Give my mother a dozen of red roses and tell her I love her.

20. Send a message in a bottle.

21. Ride a camel in the desert - done.

22. Be the boss.

23. Film a clip of my everyday life.

24. Produced a video of my own.

25. Fall deeply in love - helplessly and unconditionally. - everyday.

26. Start a fresh book of happiness.

27. Plan my dream store.

28. Go Disneyland . - done.

29. Ask for a raise.

30. Learn to play a musical instrument with some degree of skill.

31. Sing a great song in front of an audience.

32. Fit in fitness.

33. Tame the bulge (still working on this)

34. Buy a bicycle.

35. Go for a pretty formal photoshoot (semi formal - done.)

36. Write a story of my life.

37. Go to a snowy country - done.

38. Watch a theatre - done.

39. Attend a concert - done.

40. Ride a trishaw. - done.

41. Ride the gondola in Venice.

42. Carve my name onto a tree.

43. Make a complete and utterly fool of myself.

44. Drive a luxury sports car. - done.

45. Have breakfast at Tiffany.

46. Run in a marathon.

47. Visit a volcano. - done.

48. Save a life. - done.

49. Umrah. - done.

50. Get featured in a newspaper/ on TV/ radio or magazine. - semi done.

51. Own a very expensive but absolutely wonderful business suit.

51. Sleep under the stars.

52. Get passionate about a cause and spend time helping it, instead of just thinking about it. - done but looking for more.

53. Find a job I love.

54. Buy my own house and then spend time making it into exactly what I want.

55. Grow a pretty garden. - died. :(

56. Own a house with large backyard for the kids to play.

57. Spend 3 months getting my body into optimum shape. - working on it now.

58. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring. -  done.  

59. Accept myself for who I am. - in process.

60. Attend a huge rock concert. - done.

61. Go up on a hot-air balloon.

62. Scuba dive.

63. Learn to use a microphone and give a speech in public. - semi done.

64. Lose money in gambling (roulette, pokies machine/poker). - done.

65. Fart in a crowded place and then be invisible. haha

66. Create my own website.

67. Visit the Holy Land to perform Hajj.

68. Buy myself a nice set of jewelry.

69. Get myself a huge diamond ring. -  semi done.- hubby got it for me.

70. Make a hole-in-one (mini golf). - done.

71. Go fishing and eat the fish that I caught. - done.

72. Create a family tree complete with pics.

73. Give to a charity - anonymously.

74. Start a blog. - done.

75. Look into my child's eyes, see myself and smile.

76. Reflect on my greatest weakness and realize how it is my greatest strength. - done.

77. Make my own walk-in-wardrobe with plenty pretty shoes, clothes, accessories and handbags

78. Learn to play at least one full song. - done.

79. Go on a holiday with no luggage.

80. Meditate for 3 hours in one sitting.

81. Horse riding on the beach. - done.

82. Cook something that I grown.

83. Go to Ibiza.

84. Go surfing. - done.

85. Snowboarding / ski. - ski done.

86. View a house I can't afford.- done.

87. Go on a cruise ship.

88. Built something that will outlast.

89. Cut my own hair.

90. Make a snowman.

91. Leave a love note on a windscreen.

92. Built a giant sandcastle.

93. Send flowers for no apparent reason at all.

94. Bake a cake for someone special. - done.

95. Take a day off on my birthday. - done.

96. Take evening classes. - done.

97. Keep a diary for a whole year. - trying.

98. Write a letter to my future generation.

99. Google myself. - done.

100. Take a vow of silence (a day with myself)

101. Test drive a car I can't afford.

102. Take up a new sport.

And the list goes on...

Eye Surgery

I've had a problem on the right side of my eye since a few months back. It's called Stye or "Ketumbit" in Malay. hehe It never happened before because usualy these things will go off on its own after sometime. But in this case, the stye didn't wanna leave and insisted to stay there. Sebulan okay, dua bulan okay, 3rd month memang over la kan. Cannot tahan. I went to see a few doctors to ask whether they have any medication to remove the thing but nothing worked. I also tried a few home remedies to soothe the bulge but in the end there wasn't any difference. So, as 'the day' is approaching closer and closer, I got so worried what if the stye didn't go away on time. It will look weird and people will be staring at my right eye. Trust me, it happens all the time. To tell you the truth, I even felt so weird and shy to meet people because of my cute 'ketumbit' in my eye. My confidence level went down to 30/100 percent. It felt like my whole world is crumbling down and no hope was left. I was desperately trying to find a way to get rid of it but failed in every attempt. So, last resort was to see an eye specialist. B insisted that I pay a visit to The Tun Hussein Onn National Eye Hospital (THONEH). You know, just to say hello to the doctor. Haha It ain't cool yo. And believe me when I say this, my first visit was bad. Registered - waited for my number to be called and then there I was in the room for the first check up, looking into the eye microscope machine. There was a trainee doctor there, a nurse and 2 interns taking notes beside me. Lagi la takut kan. Doc kata, ok, just a small bulge. "We will put a few drops to see how it looks like." Then the next thing I remember, my eye lid was turned inside out and the doctor was touching my stye. She said I have to wait for their senior doctor which is called Dr. Azhar to come back from a meeting. After everything, she gave me an ointment and asked me to apply twice a day and put a hot towel on my right eye every night for a week. If it doesn't go away in a week, I will have to come back for a follow-up.

A week, and nothing's changed. Same thing, the stye reduce by 0.02% but it was still there standing strong just like the statue of liberty. haha. So I payed my second visit to THONEH for a second consultation with Dr. Azhar. He examined me and asked me to go in straight for surgery to remove the stye. According to him, it's just half-an-hour surgery and its painless. Sounds good to me at that time. So I said yes, proceeded with the surgery thinking that it won't hurt or maybe just a little. While waiting for the surgery, ada gak la nervous sampai nak terberry and all. I was the second in line after a 12 yr old girl. My oh my, I was nervous as hell and the only thing I could think of is to run, get in the car and drive home. I tell you, the girl was shouting and screaming like a mad fellow, bising satu hospital tu. Macam kena rasuk or something. So I told B, lets just ditch this surgery and go home.. He ignored me and continued playing with his camera. So ceciwi of him. After I heard the loud scream, untuk sedapkan hati, I told myself, maybe tu suara orang lain kot.. Jangan takut la. Its nothing." Then tiba-tiba je Mr. Andrew buat rajin and check the next door to see if ada budak menangis, pastu dia kata. No B, its the girl's voice. Bukan orang lain. At that time, memang macam nak nervous breakdown. I was so scared I could pee in my pants. Then memang cun la, right timing the nurse called me in. I showered her with never ending questions - "why is the girl crying so loud? sakit ke kak? sakit mcm mana?...etc" She replied: "Tak sakit, budak tu kecik lagi. Dia takut sebab tu dia nangis".. yeah right. Bullshit!

So she asked me to lie on the bed, look up and relax my eyes. I was trying so hard to relax my eyes but I failed. My eyes was like so hyperactive, looking here and there. I can see everything in the surgery room from towels, scalpels, cotton buds, gloves, needles and so much more. Just name it.. So, 5 minutes of lying on the bed in the middle of the room, then the doctor came in looking so happy. "How are you feeling?". I started asking the same question that I asked the nurse. "Sakit ke? Why was the girl shouting?" then the doctor replied, "ohh budak kecil tu takut. before naik katil dah nangis. Tak sakit pun. You won't even feel it."

There, another lie. They prep me for the surgery and asked me to relax before giving me a jab. Katanya just one jab tapi I got it twice. First jab, sakit 90%, second jab sakit 130%. Pastu not just that, they said I should open my eyes and relax but the problem is, I couldn't open my eyes caused of the light glaring. So they got me something to open my eye. It was something like the one in final destination movie, the metal thingy.. Pergh, memang sakit la. I can feel the metal thing inside of my eye and it was so painful regardless of the ubat bius they injected twice tu. Scary but true.

Pain during the jabs, pain after putting the metal thing, pain during the bursting, pain during the squashing and picit-ing and last but not least, pain after the surgery which is the cleaning up part. Overall it was pain pain pain all the way. All the time during the surgery, my lips was murmuring of duas. I was crazy scared and the only thing I could think of was to get it over and done with. My head playing the - "I seriously can't wait for the overall process to complete" sentence over and over. Alhamdulillah everything went well despite of the pain. I am now a stronger person until my cat scratched my right palm until it bleeds like no one's biz coz it was too deep. Okay goodbye for now and Enjoy the pics.

Grateful people are happier and healthier.

Here are 60 things to be grateful for in our lives:
1. Your parents - For giving birth to you. Because if there is no them, there will not be you.
2. Your family – For being your closest kin in the world
3. Your friends – For being your companions in life
4. Sense of sight – For letting you see the colors of life
5. Sense of hearing - For letting you hear trickle of rain, the voices of your loved ones, and the harmonious chords of music
6. Sense of touch - For letting you feel the texture of your clothes, the breeze of the wind, the hands of your loved ones
7. Sense of smell – For letting you smell scented candles, perfumes, and beautiful flowers in your garden
8. Sense of taste – For letting you savor the sweetness of fruits, the saltiness of seawater, the sourness of pickles, the bitterness of bitter gourd, and the spiciness of chilli
9. Your speech – For giving you the outlet to express yourself
10. Your heart – For pumping blood to all the parts of your body every second since you were born; for giving you the ability to feel
11. Your lungs – For letting you breathe so you can live
12. Your immune system – For fighting viruses that enter your body. For keeping you in the pink of your health so you can do the things you love.
13. Your hands – So you can type on your computer, flip the pages of books, and hold the hands of your loved ones
14. Your legs - For letting you walk, run, swim, play the sports you love, and curl up in the comfort of your seat
15. Your mind - For the ability to think, to store memories, and to create new solutions
16. Your good health – For enabling you to do what you want to do and for what you’re about to do in the future
17. Your school - For providing a environment conducive to learning and growing
18. Your teachers – For their dedication and for passing down knowledge to you
19. Tears – For helping you express your deepest emotions
20. Disappointment - So you know the things that matter to you most
21. Fears – So you know your opportunities for growth
22. Pain – For you to become a stronger person
23. Sadness – For you to appreciate the spectrum of human emotions
24. Happiness – For you to soak in the beauty of life
25. The Sun - For bringing in light and beauty to this world
26. Sunset – For a beautiful sight to end the day
27. Moon and Stars - For brightening up our night sky
28. Sunrise - For a beautiful sight to start the morning
29. Rain – For cooling you when it gets too warm and for making it comfy to sleep in on weekends
30. Snow – For making winter even more beautiful31. Rainbows – For a beautiful sight to look forward to after rain
32. Oxygen - For making life possible
33. The earth – For creating the environment for life to begin
34. Mother nature - For covering our world in beauty
35. Animals – For adding to the diversity of life
36. Internet - For connecting you and me despite the physical space between us
37. Transport - For making it easier to commute from one place to another
38. Mobile phones – For making it easy to stay in touch with others
39. Computers – For making our lives more effective and efficient
40. Technology – For making impossible things possible
41. Movies – For providing a source of entertainment
42. Books – For adding wisdom into your life
43. Blogs – For connecting you with other like-minded people
44. Shoes – For protecting your feet when you are out
45. Time – For a system to organize yourself and keep track of activities
46. Your job – For giving you a source of living and for being a medium where you can add value to the world
47. Music - For lifting your spirits when you’re down and for filling your life with more love
48. Your bed - For you to sleep comfortably in every night
49. Your home - For a place you can call home
50. Your soul mate – For being the one who understands everything you’re going through
51. Your best friends – For being there for you whenever you need them
52. Your enemies – For helping you uncover your blind spots so you can become a better person
53. Kind strangers – For brightening up your days when you least expect it
54. Your mistakes - For helping you to improve and become better
55. Heartbreaks - For helping you mature and become a better person
56. Laughter - For serenading your life with joy
57. Love - For letting you feel what it means to truly be alive
58. Life’s challenges - For helping you grow and become who you are
59. Life - For giving you the chance to experience all that you’re experiencing, and will be experiencing in time to come
60. You - Next time you think of beautiful things, don't forget to count yourself in.


Taken from Google :)

Goodbye KL, see you next year. Home sweet home, Penang!

I wave my love goodbye and started my journey back to Penang - the place where my heart is. Home sweet home.


Missing them in KL, see you next year! 2011 is coming to an end and everyone is welcoming 2012. I am so ready to leave 2011 behind. The sorrows, heartbreaks and hardship I've been through. I shall not look back but instead, I am grateful to be blessed with so many amazing things ahead of me. I am so thankful for the memories that I have and to gain so much throughout the years. Thanks to my family and friends who have helped me along the way to become the person I am today. I know there are great things waiting for me and I hope to learn much more in the future. Thank you Allah for everything and for opening my eyes to so many things. I am very much certain now that everything happens for a reason and only Allah knows better what lies ahead in the future. All the hardship I've gone through was nothing but a blessing in disguise. Have a splendid new year and hope 2012 will be a better year for all of us. May Allah bless us all with guidance to follow the right path. Amin.

How to save a life

Everyone was so busy clearing off their to-do list of 2011. So I go through mine to see what I can complete before the new year arrives. There were so many things, I don't know where to start. Been scouting for cute cats to accompany me here alone in the big house but the price is crazy! RM2.5k for a kitten and the cheapest I can find is rm999 which is still pricey. I didn't want to get from Mom because all her cats are adults. Takleh la manja2. Oh btw, I always wanted to save a life in general but I figured, why not I do something good like adopting. So on the 9th of December, we paid a visit to SPCA Ampang just to look around. There were so many cats waiting to find a new home. Well, the place is not that pleasant. Looking at all the poor cats there made me realize that people here don't really adopt animals at animal shelter. They prefer to buy instead. So, as usual being me who loves animal couldn't bare my eyes looking at all the adorable cats meow-ing. It's like they're shouting "Take me home, help me, feed me, love me." And as usual, knowing Bee - an animal lover too; we decided to adopt a grey kitten of mixed breed. She was too cute calling us and putting her hand out to touch us. (Yeah so clever of her, tricking us into the trap) and the next thing we know, Mr Bee is already signing the papers to take her home. Oh what a lucky cat. Now I'm not lonely anymore at home. Yay!

Say hello to Kiki!

A few days after we adopted her, she went missing for more than 6 hours exploring her way around Maplewoods. She squeezed herself out from the back grill door which is quite slim. Mom was so confident saying that Kiki couldn't fit into the grill so she opened the cage and let Kiki mingle around behind at the laundry place. Knowing the mastermind; somehow she did squeezed herself out and we thought we won't see her again after a few hours of hunting for Kiki. Few hours later, one of the guards saw her and kept her in a box in the guard house. On the way out from my place, Mom stopped at the guard house to check and there she was sitting in the box feeling exhausted. Poor Kiki. So, Mr Bee went over to get her and take her home! Look at how innocent she can be. Drama sungguh.

(muka buat sedih & tak bersalah. Just like puss in boots! silap2 boleh terpedaya.)

15 Quick Ways To Pick Up Your Spirits

1. Keep a running list of inspiring quotes and uplifting jokes. Refer to them when you need to.
2. Call a friend and ask her to tell you her favourite joke.
3. Fake a smile for 5 or 10 minutes.
4. Close your eyes for a few minutes.
5. Call your mom.
6. Look through old scrapbooks or personal journals.
7. Go outside. A few minutes of fresh air can do wonders for your mood.
8. Go for a very quick jog.
9. Keep a gratitude journal, in which you write down things that you are thankful for. This is a great way to start and end each day. For a quick "pick-me-up," write as many gratitudes as you can in one minute. Don't think, just write.
   
10. Make something. Use your creative mind and create something with your own two hand, whether it is a piece of jewelry, a scrapbook page, a pretty floral arrangement or a batch of cookies.
11. What is your biggest goal (or your biggest problem)? Do one thing that will contribute to its completion (or its solution)
12. Eat something healthy and fresh. You could be feeling blue because your blood sugar has taken a dip. Eat a bowl of fresh fruits or vegetable.
13. Pour a cup of hot cocoa or a cup of coffee and read a favourite magazine for a few minutes.
14. Turn on music. Your favourite tunes can really lift your spirits. Use classical and jazz to calm; rock and roll or hip hop to energize.
15. Mark twin said," The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." He's right, and it doen't have to mean a big time investment. Just do something thoughtful for someone, right now

If your mood doesn't brighten right awaym go with the flow. Itsokay to feel blue every now and then. Let yourself rest and give yourself time to restore your own happy mood in your own natural time.