Enjoying every moment of this process

With my wedding day approaching at staggering speed, I am starting to feel nervous and a little bit of mixed emotions.. Six more days and I will be a Mrs. It only seem like yesterday my count at 100 but today it's only 6 more days until Friday, 6th of April - our Akad Nikah day.  I am excited to be marrying my best friend, the one whom I share my ups and downs with, the one who I can speak to, the one who understands me, respects me, shares the same vision as me and always standing strong by me.. Yup, he is the chosen one. wah wah wah.. *ayat mengada* :P I love u bb.

Everyone has been so amazing with the wedding preparation. Running here and there doing all the necessary arrangements. Thanks to our beloved family, friends, photographers, cinematographers, designers, etc. Alhamdulillah, all the wedding things are taken care of, its the being married part that worries me.

Most of the things about my wedding in Penang is DIY. I designed my own invitation card, door gifts, props for the dessert table & photo booth and whatnot. For other things such as hantaran, wedding cake, pelamin etc .. I have all the necessary people to help me with it. It's always nice to have people being so caring and helpful especially at such busy times like this. I am so thankful and blessed for everyone being so helpful especially my deary fiance who is always beside me - helping me all the way from shopping for craft materials, searching for designers, going for trial make up, meeting up with photographers and last but not least, accompanying me to all my gown fittings. I know you had so much fun and you actually liked it kan? hehe Thank you b.

I like to have a happy occasion but as bad as I want it my way, I want everyone to be happy as well. InsyaAllah everything will go on smoothly.

These are some of the photos I took from my phone while preparing for the wedding. Too lazy to upload the ones in my camera. Enjoy this for now. Will upload more soon.

My to do list while counting down the days

His first appointment for baju melayu

Color chart

My baby patiently waiting for me

Before trial makeup session at Anovia

Trying different hairstyle

Done.

Getting all dolled up. Oh so fun!

Sparkman Shop, PJ Hilton

His first appointment for his Tuxedo

Food Tasting at Sunway Resort Hotel & Spa.

Chinese banquet menu for our reception

Searching materials for our flowergirls.

Custom-made cheongsam from White & Lacy Bridal

Trying on sampin & tengkolok to suit with the baju.

Songkok design from different states

Nurita Harith Boutique

Second fitting at Nurita Harith. oh me fell in love.

First tuxedo fitting. 

Second fitting so cute.

Working on the photo booth props

Browsing around for our hantaran stuff.

All jolly after shopping

The happy priceless look on his face

Wedding wishes from Gucci Pavilion Team

The little one tying her best to help

Final touches on the door gifts.

Crabtree & Evelyn to replace my bunga pahar during the merenjis session

Second Fitting at CasaMia

Countdown Tracker Says..

Clock is ticking, time is running out! Pray for eveything to go well as planned. Happy happy days ahead of us.

Time is running out.

Hello to all,

Sorry for the not updating for quite sometime although I promised myself to squeeze some time to keep this blog running. I've been busy with errands and whatnot. My family and close friends would know how busy I am running here and there juggling with so many things at the same time. I know I'm a super woman not that I am one but I feel like one. Ok, enough with all the nonsense..

Clock is ticking fast and I don't know where to start. I need a time machine.

Bridezilla Moment!

The definition of Bridezilla for Feesha = a regular bride who is overly concerned about the details of her big day. (Not that I'm one)

I am a very detailed and orientated person so I am always concern when it comes to little details here and there. Be it from planning, the dress, the fabric & colors of my family and bridesmaids suits, decorations, what type of card to use for the invites, the details of centrepiece, color coordination, the dulangs for hantaran, the door gifts, and last but not least, the candle deco. It's crazy when I think about how crazy and obsessed I can be - wanting to control every single thing. The need to be perfect makes me a difficult person to deal with. I don't mind spending my time doing all the work alone coz when I do it myself, I know how it will turn out to be, not that I'm picky or snobbish. Yup, I know it's sick but I can't help myself. I get sick and unwell sometimes after working my ass off doing the unnecessary things. But you see, at the end of the day, it makes me happy. That alone can make up to everything else. 

I went bridezilla a couple of times after people around me are getting on my nerves. When I say it, I really mean it. There are so many details and as usual, some people just love to mess around with you and make it difficult. I am not a mean person so usually I will just let go of all the unwanted dramas but there are a few issues that I could not ignore and let it pass because it really bothers me. Not gonna mention the issues here. Oh well, let's just say all is good now.

Lately myself and Andrew have been working on my door gifts and I'm more than happy that its almost done. Just the packing and arranging left to do. Alhamdulillah I am so happy with the way it turned out to be. Colorful and jolly. Hehe Now I can't wait to start a new project. Time is priceless. xoxo

My Bucket List

I have this list of things to do / to try before I die since forever and I never actually bothered about looking at them or even tick it off. I do carry my small happiness notebook all the time in my handbag but not the bucket list. I should act on it too. Do you know why it's good to create your own bucket list? It's good because If you don’t live your days by personal goals and plans, chances are you spend most of your time caught up in a flurry of a day-to-day activities. Do you stop and ponder your everyday life? The days passing so fast and what have you achieved for your personal satisfaction besides the daily routine of work-home-sleep? What have you got for yourself apart from the normal routine? Lets say, ermm your upcoming goals for the next 3 months? Look at the things you did and the things you’re planning to do next – Do they mean anything to you if you are to die today? Having a bucket list reminds you of what’s really important so you can act on them. It’s just like planning ahead all the highlights you want for YOUR whole life. Even though goal setting is already my staple activity, I still found many new things to do while I was writing on my bucket list. It’s a reminder of all the things we want to achieve in our time here, so that instead of pandering our time in pointless activities, we are directing it fully toward what matters to us.

1. Complete a scrapbook.

2. Attend a baking class.

3. Enter a competition. - done.

4. Learn to speak foreign language & make sure I use it.

5. Declutter my room.

6. Watch a sunrise & sunset.

7. Organize a family day. - done.

8. Ride a superbike with style.

9. Volunteer in a charity drive. - done.

10. Bungee Jump (don't think I have the guts)

11. Go backpacking. - sort off done.

12. Throw a mega party and invite everyone over.

13. Have a portrait painted.

14. Skydiving (don't dare & don't think I'll do it)

15. Swim with the dolphins (scared of deep sea)

16. Spend the whole day eating junk food without feeling guilty. - done.

17. Own a room with a view.

18. Learn to take a compliment.

19. Give my mother a dozen of red roses and tell her I love her.

20. Send a message in a bottle.

21. Ride a camel in the desert - done.

22. Be the boss.

23. Film a clip of my everyday life.

24. Produced a video of my own.

25. Fall deeply in love - helplessly and unconditionally. - everyday.

26. Start a fresh book of happiness.

27. Plan my dream store.

28. Go Disneyland . - done.

29. Ask for a raise.

30. Learn to play a musical instrument with some degree of skill.

31. Sing a great song in front of an audience.

32. Fit in fitness.

33. Tame the bulge (still working on this)

34. Buy a bicycle.

35. Go for a pretty formal photoshoot (semi formal - done.)

36. Write a story of my life.

37. Go to a snowy country - done.

38. Watch a theatre - done.

39. Attend a concert - done.

40. Ride a trishaw. - done.

41. Ride the gondola in Venice.

42. Carve my name onto a tree.

43. Make a complete and utterly fool of myself.

44. Drive a luxury sports car. - done.

45. Have breakfast at Tiffany.

46. Run in a marathon.

47. Visit a volcano. - done.

48. Save a life. - done.

49. Umrah. - done.

50. Get featured in a newspaper/ on TV/ radio or magazine. - semi done.

51. Own a very expensive but absolutely wonderful business suit.

51. Sleep under the stars.

52. Get passionate about a cause and spend time helping it, instead of just thinking about it. - done but looking for more.

53. Find a job I love.

54. Buy my own house and then spend time making it into exactly what I want.

55. Grow a pretty garden. - died. :(

56. Own a house with large backyard for the kids to play.

57. Spend 3 months getting my body into optimum shape. - working on it now.

58. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring. -  done.  

59. Accept myself for who I am. - in process.

60. Attend a huge rock concert. - done.

61. Go up on a hot-air balloon.

62. Scuba dive.

63. Learn to use a microphone and give a speech in public. - semi done.

64. Lose money in gambling (roulette, pokies machine/poker). - done.

65. Fart in a crowded place and then be invisible. haha

66. Create my own website.

67. Visit the Holy Land to perform Hajj.

68. Buy myself a nice set of jewelry.

69. Get myself a huge diamond ring. -  semi done.- hubby got it for me.

70. Make a hole-in-one (mini golf). - done.

71. Go fishing and eat the fish that I caught. - done.

72. Create a family tree complete with pics.

73. Give to a charity - anonymously.

74. Start a blog. - done.

75. Look into my child's eyes, see myself and smile.

76. Reflect on my greatest weakness and realize how it is my greatest strength. - done.

77. Make my own walk-in-wardrobe with plenty pretty shoes, clothes, accessories and handbags

78. Learn to play at least one full song. - done.

79. Go on a holiday with no luggage.

80. Meditate for 3 hours in one sitting.

81. Horse riding on the beach. - done.

82. Cook something that I grown.

83. Go to Ibiza.

84. Go surfing. - done.

85. Snowboarding / ski. - ski done.

86. View a house I can't afford.- done.

87. Go on a cruise ship.

88. Built something that will outlast.

89. Cut my own hair.

90. Make a snowman.

91. Leave a love note on a windscreen.

92. Built a giant sandcastle.

93. Send flowers for no apparent reason at all.

94. Bake a cake for someone special. - done.

95. Take a day off on my birthday. - done.

96. Take evening classes. - done.

97. Keep a diary for a whole year. - trying.

98. Write a letter to my future generation.

99. Google myself. - done.

100. Take a vow of silence (a day with myself)

101. Test drive a car I can't afford.

102. Take up a new sport.

And the list goes on...

Eye Surgery

I've had a problem on the right side of my eye since a few months back. It's called Stye or "Ketumbit" in Malay. hehe It never happened before because usualy these things will go off on its own after sometime. But in this case, the stye didn't wanna leave and insisted to stay there. Sebulan okay, dua bulan okay, 3rd month memang over la kan. Cannot tahan. I went to see a few doctors to ask whether they have any medication to remove the thing but nothing worked. I also tried a few home remedies to soothe the bulge but in the end there wasn't any difference. So, as 'the day' is approaching closer and closer, I got so worried what if the stye didn't go away on time. It will look weird and people will be staring at my right eye. Trust me, it happens all the time. To tell you the truth, I even felt so weird and shy to meet people because of my cute 'ketumbit' in my eye. My confidence level went down to 30/100 percent. It felt like my whole world is crumbling down and no hope was left. I was desperately trying to find a way to get rid of it but failed in every attempt. So, last resort was to see an eye specialist. B insisted that I pay a visit to The Tun Hussein Onn National Eye Hospital (THONEH). You know, just to say hello to the doctor. Haha It ain't cool yo. And believe me when I say this, my first visit was bad. Registered - waited for my number to be called and then there I was in the room for the first check up, looking into the eye microscope machine. There was a trainee doctor there, a nurse and 2 interns taking notes beside me. Lagi la takut kan. Doc kata, ok, just a small bulge. "We will put a few drops to see how it looks like." Then the next thing I remember, my eye lid was turned inside out and the doctor was touching my stye. She said I have to wait for their senior doctor which is called Dr. Azhar to come back from a meeting. After everything, she gave me an ointment and asked me to apply twice a day and put a hot towel on my right eye every night for a week. If it doesn't go away in a week, I will have to come back for a follow-up.

A week, and nothing's changed. Same thing, the stye reduce by 0.02% but it was still there standing strong just like the statue of liberty. haha. So I payed my second visit to THONEH for a second consultation with Dr. Azhar. He examined me and asked me to go in straight for surgery to remove the stye. According to him, it's just half-an-hour surgery and its painless. Sounds good to me at that time. So I said yes, proceeded with the surgery thinking that it won't hurt or maybe just a little. While waiting for the surgery, ada gak la nervous sampai nak terberry and all. I was the second in line after a 12 yr old girl. My oh my, I was nervous as hell and the only thing I could think of is to run, get in the car and drive home. I tell you, the girl was shouting and screaming like a mad fellow, bising satu hospital tu. Macam kena rasuk or something. So I told B, lets just ditch this surgery and go home.. He ignored me and continued playing with his camera. So ceciwi of him. After I heard the loud scream, untuk sedapkan hati, I told myself, maybe tu suara orang lain kot.. Jangan takut la. Its nothing." Then tiba-tiba je Mr. Andrew buat rajin and check the next door to see if ada budak menangis, pastu dia kata. No B, its the girl's voice. Bukan orang lain. At that time, memang macam nak nervous breakdown. I was so scared I could pee in my pants. Then memang cun la, right timing the nurse called me in. I showered her with never ending questions - "why is the girl crying so loud? sakit ke kak? sakit mcm mana?...etc" She replied: "Tak sakit, budak tu kecik lagi. Dia takut sebab tu dia nangis".. yeah right. Bullshit!

So she asked me to lie on the bed, look up and relax my eyes. I was trying so hard to relax my eyes but I failed. My eyes was like so hyperactive, looking here and there. I can see everything in the surgery room from towels, scalpels, cotton buds, gloves, needles and so much more. Just name it.. So, 5 minutes of lying on the bed in the middle of the room, then the doctor came in looking so happy. "How are you feeling?". I started asking the same question that I asked the nurse. "Sakit ke? Why was the girl shouting?" then the doctor replied, "ohh budak kecil tu takut. before naik katil dah nangis. Tak sakit pun. You won't even feel it."

There, another lie. They prep me for the surgery and asked me to relax before giving me a jab. Katanya just one jab tapi I got it twice. First jab, sakit 90%, second jab sakit 130%. Pastu not just that, they said I should open my eyes and relax but the problem is, I couldn't open my eyes caused of the light glaring. So they got me something to open my eye. It was something like the one in final destination movie, the metal thingy.. Pergh, memang sakit la. I can feel the metal thing inside of my eye and it was so painful regardless of the ubat bius they injected twice tu. Scary but true.

Pain during the jabs, pain after putting the metal thing, pain during the bursting, pain during the squashing and picit-ing and last but not least, pain after the surgery which is the cleaning up part. Overall it was pain pain pain all the way. All the time during the surgery, my lips was murmuring of duas. I was crazy scared and the only thing I could think of was to get it over and done with. My head playing the - "I seriously can't wait for the overall process to complete" sentence over and over. Alhamdulillah everything went well despite of the pain. I am now a stronger person until my cat scratched my right palm until it bleeds like no one's biz coz it was too deep. Okay goodbye for now and Enjoy the pics.